Lots of search engines results asking "When's Valentine's day?" today. Sorry boys it's today, your tardy arses better go down the petrol station and pick up a cheap bouquet of flowers. Otherwise you risk being made single and having to go back to dating your right hand and cooking your own meals (cus let's be honest, that's all guys like you want a girlfriend for).
@thejessiekirk I improved it with some cynical sapphic grumpiness. So, I no steal :P