Pizza is just an open face tomato sauce and cheese sandwich, because if you put 1 pizza on top of another pizza, face to face, it’s a sandwich. Prove me wrong 🤨
Edited 7d ago
nerlingersjokes
While watching the #olympics I like to keep track of my personal best time in the “going to get a beer and getting back to the couch” event
Fun Fact - In the #UK microchips are called microcrisps
Did you ever wave to someone you know in the grocery store then realize it was a total stranger so you have to pretend you waved to someone behind him, and he turns around and sees no one is behind him but you’re already committed so you pretend to talk to an invisible person then security comes out of nowhere and asks you to leave the store because you’re disturbing the other shoppers then you get to your car and realize you forgot to buy eggs which was the whole purpose of going to the store in the first place so you have to go BACK into the store and on the way in you see the real person you thought you saw in the store so you wave to him then realize it the same fucking person you waved to inside the store? Boy is that awkward.
Schrödinger’s Cake - An unobserved piece of cake exists both in the refrigerator and not in the refrigerator at the same time. Therefore, until the refrigerator is door opened and the contents observed, a piece of cake always exists in the refrigerator. And that’s why I keep checking.
I emailed Neil Tyson Degrasse asking him if lasagna crosses the event horizon of a black hole does it become spaghetti?
I used to write jokes on pieces of paper but no one else ever saw them. Now I put them on Mastodon to save paper.
#nerlingersjokes
If I wasn't a devout pessimist I'd be disappointed in myself.
#nerlingersjokes #humor
If a hot dog is a sandwich, then a taco is too. Anyone that says otherwise is a hypocrite.